Miss Chloe the Birthday Girl!

It is hard to believe that our little Miss Chloe Nan is two years old today! I remember the phone call that Grandpa Mike received from Mama Nat saying she was in labor and then I get a phone call from Grandpa Mike saying I'm booked on a flight to leave in just a couple hours and I'm on Grandma duty!! Grandma duty is the best...second to mom duty...I just love those two jobs!

When I arrived in Burlington, Mama Nat informed me that labor had stopped. Well, we couldn't have that, so Grandma Mel, Mama Nat and Miss Niah headed to the mall and we walked, shopped and walked some more. We didn't know what our new baby was going to be, so we bought light green and yellow jammies. It worked! The labor started up again and we went home and when Mama Nat started to bend over and couldn't stand up any more and couldn't catch her breath, Papa Bryan took charge and off they went to the Hospital. It was a wonderful phone call to receive letting me know all was well and that we had a beautiful baby girl join the family. When Miss Niah woke up I informed her that she had a baby sister and she just couldn't wait to go see her. Later that day I took Niah to the store and she insisted she buy something for her new sister.

From the very beginning you could tell what a sweet, tender spirited little girl Miss Chloe would be. Chloe is Greek and it means "blooming". This is Chloe exactly because she is an explorer, curious, ever learning new things, and happy and beautiful like a new blooming flower.

We love our Miss Chloe Nan and wish her a very HAPPY 'turning two' day!!

Love,

Grandma Mel, Grandpa Mike, Uncle Colin, Auntie Kaitie and Auntie Kell

HAPPY DAY TO MCKELL!

What? Kell is turning 19?!

Because she is turning 19, here are nineteen reasons we love having Kell in our family...

• 1. she is proud of her red hair


• 2. she is an awesome sister


• 3. her beautiful smile


• 4. her contagious laugh


• 5. she has sweet 'white chocolate' moves


• 6. she loves to learn new things and she shares them with us


• 7. she loves, loves to travel


• 8. she is proud to be Irish!


• 9. she speaks to us in languages


• 10. she is teaching little sister to drive a stick shift


• 11. she's a dreamer


• 12. she pursue's her dreams


• 13. she loves great literature


• 14. she can tell you about art...any art


• 15. she is self motivated


• 16. she is kind to all of us


• 17. her nieces and nephew love her


• 18. she has a messy room


• 19. we love, love, love the dimples!!!

Most of all...we love YOU! HAPPY DAY Kellibell!

Update

change

"Learn to embrace change,

and you'll begin to recognize

that life is in constant motion,

and every change happens for a reason.

When you see boundaries as

opportunities, the world becomes

a limitless place,

and your life becomes a

journey of change that always

finds its way."

I guess you could say I've been away from my blog for awhile while I try and 'find my way'. What a journey this has been and, yes, life has been in constant motion...never pausing...and I've been trying to move forward and not backward. Some days are easier than others...some are just plain rough!

I'm so grateful for so many things and these are the things that keep me going...

(check the wordle above..I couldn't get it to go in my post..click on it and you can read it)

WILL IT ALWAYS FEEL THIS WAY?

Yesterday marked 5 months since the loss of my mom. I spent the afternoon thinking about how not everything has been a loss...there are things I've gained. I appreciate family even more than before; sisters, my dad, nephews, neices, my husband, children, grandchildren, aunts and uncles, friends, my mom's friends. I've gained a marked sense of all the 'tender mercies' that have been granted. For instance, yesterday I happened to see two of my mom's dear friends at different places...places I just happened to go to on that day...month 5. I received a sweet text from Tam who had remembered the day. My Aunt Marsh called to check on us...we remembered together-her kindness, her big heart, her way of taking care and knowing how everyone was and sharing it with us, how many friends she had, that she was everyones anchor/calmer. Great phone calls with my sisters...Jen and I were able to laugh just knowing mom is proud that she has been getting a babysitter and that mom is probably teaching Dylan crazy things to do. De and I talked about how the sadness just has to come out now - now that the trauma has subsided some. I can see my mom's twinkle in her eye, her mischeviousness in so many people...Luke, Land, Kaitie, Niah. I even caught a glimpse of her in my own mirror today as I cut my hair shorter yesterday and as I walked past my mirror...just for a minute...I saw her. I went downstairs to where I had brought some of her things to my home. In a bag of her crocheting things, I found the class instructions with her own handwriting on it and the very burp cloth we had learned to do at that class together. Is it coincidence, tender mercy, that just the night before I sat up and finished a burp cloth that I had pulled out of my cupboard that I had started years ago but never finished...the very one from that same class. I'm going to put them both in a special place. I've had this overwhelming desire to crochet, sew, cook (that's a miracle!), be in the yard. Is it because I know these were things she loved to do and they are my loves too? Now the time, the mood has shifted, and it is easier to surround myself with her pictures, things and easier to do things that I know she loved to do. It's a softer sadness, a pure sadness that just has to come out. All by myself, out loud, as I was holding fabric of hers I said, "Mom, I just hope I was good enough to you. That you knew...that you know now, how much influence you have had on me. That I miss you. I love you." I had found this saying on a plaque several weeks after mom died and I had to buy it. It reminded me of her, of the kind of mom I want to be, and the kind of mom I know my daughters are and will be.

Motherhood
is not for the faint of heart
mothers are fierce
protective
HOVER
cheer
Let you fall
Let you fail
PICK YOU UP
worry
HANDLE HEARTACHE
comfort fears
teach
listen
MOTHERHOOD,
Your greatest challenge
Your Finest Hour


I love you mom....

AMAZING!! INSPIRING!!

McKell called last night and invited me to come and hear Ronan Tynan at the BYU Devotional. He is one of the Three Irish Tenors. I was so excited and it was more amazing than I would have ever expected! I had chills as he told story after story of adversity and how he overcame it and how we too can do the same. I bought his book and Kell and I were able to meet him. As he signed our book, I made sure I told him I was Irish and where my people were from. It was a great experience - a great day! Thanks Kell for thinking of your Irish Mam! (mom in irish)
You can go to this link and hear some of his talk...http://www.ronantynan.net/news.aspx?bid=83

Where Have All My Children Gone?

Ok, I'm sure somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this day would come, but seriously, this is ridiculous!! Here I am 5:21 PM in the afternoon (early evening!) and I am home alone!! I think that is why I had five children - I hate to be home alone! I'm trying to count my blessings...Natalie and B are steadfast and sure as they enter year number three of Med School Of course, they had to go far, far away to Vermont, but I shouldn't complain because my cousin just entered Med School in Puerto Rico - it could be worse! Their cute girls keep me entertained on the phone - Niah tells me about the 'Nation' and Chloe and I talk 'animal'! Tam and Todd heeded my plea to choose a Med School that had a direct flight from Salt Lake. Woops! I forgot to mention to them that a 3 hour drive from the airport was not what I was thinking. They are getting a taste of the 'country life' and maybe Preslee and Baby Boy Jacobs won't be total 'city kids'. Preslee loves to say 'hi' on the phone and lets me know when she is 'all done' talking. Colin returned from his mission and I'm still grateful for the footprints in the carpet on the way to his room. He has new digs in Provo, but I like that he shows up enough to keep those prints there. Now, McKell, we may never see again. She is in her element! She loves school, dorm life, and she is always looking for her next adventure. Now, the baby, Kaitie Bug, she still lives here - at least her bed looks like it has been slept in each morning. She is busy with High School life and dancing her heart away. Let's not forget my better half - Mikie! He is building the project of his dreams (day and night dreams - he is obsessed!). Because of his hard work we will have a haven in the mountains....and here I am - ALONE AT HOME. I guess I'll go crochet! I love you family wherever you are and I'm proud of all you're doing!

Mother, Mom, Mama...

When I gave birth to my first baby, Natalie, I remember my mom poking her head in the delivery room when she arrived and the Doctor telling her she couldn't pass the red line on the floor. She stood there as long as they let her and was so excited for this wonderful event. After they got me settled into my room and the nurse handed me my beautiful little girl, my mom said, "Once a mom, Mel, you're always a mom!" I've thought about those few words so many times over the years - happy times, sad times, challenging times, overwhelming times, uplifting times, frightening times and especially at this time. Those powerful, undeniable feelings of love that consume your whole being as your 'mother heart strings' as I call them, are played over and over again everyday of your life. And as mom said 'once a mom, you're always a mom!' It will never go away! My baby girl, Kaitie, danced the most beautiful dance to a song that reached out and grabbed me. Each time I watched her dance to this song I just thought of how all my children, my little babies have grown up into these beautiful, wonderful human beings. Each one is so unique and kind hearted and making wonderful lifes for themselves. There have been challenging times for each of them and I know they will have more challenges on their paths ahead, but they are each so strong and prepared. I miss my mom so much the past few days. The reality has sunk in. She was my calming influence, my rock, she made me feel like I could conquer anything and I just hope she really, really knew how much she meant to me. How greatful I am for everything she taught me and the love she showed me. Mom, Mother, Mama, whatever the title a mother may go by, those short words have so much meaning packed into them. I just felt like sharing these thoughts about how I feel about being a mom, it is priceless to me, a gift, a treasure and this beautiful song "In My Arms" says it all about how I feel towards my own children who will be 'my babies forever'. I also try to imagine that my mom made that same promise to me and my sisters that she would always be there for us and somehow, even now, she is holding us in her arms.